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Dragon Quest

from Vejigante by buster wolf

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If life was an RPG, Buster Wolf would be level 99 with no need to grind. This is strictly for all my gamers.


This is a dragon quest. I grab my best flame resistant vest to avoid its flaming breath. I’m capped level 99 with no need to grind. Equip my artifact weapons. All job classes mastered. From tank to damage dealer to spell caster. On mission for the dark elves. They got me delivering a chest containing an elder wyvern wing to the chief of the village of mages - to trade for missing pages of the sealed grimoire penned by seven sages - who ages long past, sealed away a darkness that threatened to encompass the land. Took their staves in hand to wild elemental spells but on the end, they all fell. Still my thief agility stats are unmatched. With stealth abilities holy relics get snatched. No materia slot ever gets left empty, plus my blade earns double experience points so don’t tempt me.

Dualcast luminaire then mega flare and summon espers. Undead opponents resemble lepers. Jump through time portals, swing my blade of the immortal. My broadsword enormous. Chasing goblins in the forest. Ogre battle: march of the black queen. Slinging axes, ranged attacks, kid. I plunder dwarven hollows where no goblins dare to follow. So fuck a 20 sided die cuz I die 20 times and respawn with my stats and epic gear still intact. In fact, I navigate a sorceress labyrinth with no map. And a pouch of purloined potions. Never purchased. Never perish. Cast cure spells on undead. Clever. Nourished with heal berries that restore more depending on your level of alchemy. Mine is 99. A higher level you cannot possibly find.

Level 99 with no need to grind. Level 99 with no need to grind. Buster Wolf is Level 99. Level 99 with no need to grind.

I mine ingots of mythril and orichalcum to forge a sword, peerless. Forever fearless. Deep in the forest realm do I delve, to seek fame in the fortresses of High Elves. Lock pick the chest with a high success rate. Obtained a spell book from the elder days. Incantations summon the heat of the sun to scorch tongues. A ranger, I, With eagle eye abilities will rarely miss his target, especially with enchanted arrows. Strike your bone marrow. Stone shadows are golems manipulated by Necromancers. Requiring higher level magic to escape disaster. Debuff your toughest adversary. Loot the treasure and take all that I can carry. On my next quest for the sandals of Hermes or relics that cast infinite haste. I am indeed intrigued. It was once believed a gryphons talon would leave your MP permanently increased by 27 points. A channeling skill will decrease your casting time by 10 percent. Cutting orcs until my tempers vent.

A black hood that shrouds my face. A black beard. I lack fear. With dragon scale armor that cracks spears. Attack whatever’s near. In a clearing in the forest of no return. I did learn the Ents will not suffer to burn. I slay the eldest wyrm with a blade that survived the mother fucking cataclysm. Casting status spells that cause aneurysms on my dragon quest. I’m capped Level 99 with no need to grind.


from Vejigante, released August 22, 2015


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buster wolf Tallahassee, Florida

cats, 8 bit dreams, liminal space. skeletons. self indulgent - always sorry - never mean it - CITRONELLA ROOM _ 間もなくインターネットと現実の世界にやってくる

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